Patria
by Mori art ti
Summary: She was there all along, and he was her decision from the beginning. She was everything a woman wasn't supposed to be in their time, and yet she was going to make him into the man he was expected to be. And a serum wouldn't be the only change she thrust upon him. "I haven't given up on you yet, Captain. Don't expect me to abandon you now."
1. Chapter 1-The Decision

**Chapter One**

Steve Rogers was at a complete loss for words. He closed his eyes tightly for a few moments before opening them again, thinking that he must've been asleep. But when his blue eyes opened again, the woman was still there, standing next to Howard Stark onstage as if it were a perfectly acceptable position for her to be in.

Steve had _seen_ her before, though. He just knew he had. The familiar red of her hair so elegantly fixed on her head, the paleness of her skin but the rosy tint of her cheeks, with her hazel eyes holding so many emotions…Steve knew her face, he recognized the hourglass curves beneath her crimson dress. He just couldn't place where he knew the face from. It clearly wasn't because he had dated her…he had a feeling even her name was too good for him.

"Bucky? Who's that dame with Stark up onstage?" Steve leaned forward and let the question fall from his lips, wondering if he was the only one entranced by the redheaded beauty in front of the crowd, smiling at Stark as he tried to explain what exactly he was trying to show off.

"Seriously, Steve? Everyone knows who _that_ is. That beautiful specimen of the female gender is Lillian Rose Carraway. She's his equal in everything…looks, charm, intelligence, talent…you've probably seen her on a magazine or something, pal."

But that wasn't it, and Steve knew it. Even if he had seen her on a magazine before, that isn't where he recognized her from. Because while he certainly knew her face, something about seeing her completely glammed up seemed off about her demeanor.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late, I couldn't get Howard t-oh dear, someone get this kid a cheeseburger."

The heat rose in Steve's cheeks and he knew his face was a similar to the shade of her hair. He remembered now, now that her dress was gone and black pants covered her slender legs and a grey army shirt tucked itself away into her waist. She even had _combat_ boots on her small feet, her hair pulled up into what looked like a bun on her hair and glasses adorning her face. He had seen her the other times, when he had tried to enlist.

"Nice of you to join us, Dr. Carraway. I was just about to approve Steven here for enlistment into our program."

Her small hands quickly snatched up Steve's file, looking over it with a small look of doubt etched into her eyes. As she saw that there were _five_ files, however, a look of amusement lit up her face so bright that the two men in the room felt as if they were momentarily looking at the sun itself. A soft smile graced her red lips, and she set the file down before jumping up on a counter and pointedly looking at Steve. Her eyes roamed his body, that same skeptical look reaching her hazel eyes, before she continued.

"Pretty keen on killing some Nazis, kid? That why you can't take no for an answer?"

Steve had to take a few breaths before he could answer. The way her bell-like voice infiltrated his ears, the light breathiness of her voice drawing him in so much that Steve didn't honestly think he was ever going to recover from her presence. Lillian stared expectantly at him, growing impatient with the 90 pound man in front of her and the Doctor to her left. But Steve's next words froze her to her spot for longer than she would ever again admit.

"No, ma'am. I'm not keen on killing anybody. But people are laying their lives out on the line, and I have no right to do anything less than they are. And I don't like bullies. I don't care who they are, or where they're from…as I was explaining to Dr. Erksine earlier."

Lillian's eyes had honestly widened at that, her face staying bare of any emotion for a few moments-long enough to make Steve believe he had said something wrong. But slowly-painfully slow-her lips grew into a dazzling smile and a soft laugh fell from her lips. Steve couldn't understand why she was laughing, but he couldn't help but smile at the sound as it filled the room to the very brim. She jumped down from her perch on the counter and signed off on the bottom of his file. She gave the other doctor in the room a nod of her approval, and the two shared a look that Steve knew held a ton of words.

"Congrats, kid. But you still need a cheeseburger."

* * *

"Sir, I don't want you to think I'm not grateful, because I am. But I just have one question about this whole thing…"

"Steven, I have already explained why we chose you. Dr. Carraway and myself have the upmost trust in you…and who you are."

"But that's the thing." Steve paused to run his fingers through his soft blonde hair, breathing deep. It had been weeks since he had seen _her_ , and yet everyone insisted that she had something to do with the project and the decision. And yet, the only time he had met her was in that little exam room with Dr. Erksine. "How did she…Dr. Carraway…have any say? She didn't even see me here. She didn't even see what I can do…"

"You have to understand, Steven, that Lill-excuse me, Dr. Carraway is a very busy woman. On top of her own work, she also has Howard Stark to deal with, and believe me when I say his reputation precedes him. He is certainly a handful. But without her, this project would be a complete disaster." Steve could feel the sincerity in the doctor's voice, and he relaxed slightly. But the next words were what really solidified his comfort. "Plus, Dr. Carraway signed off on her decision the day you two met…in the room. She wasn't signing for your enlistment. She was signing for her decision."

* * *

Lillian's knee had been bouncing in her chair all morning as final preparations were made, much to Howard's dismay. She was nervous for the boy…man…boy. Howard honestly didn't know what to think of the…soldier?...they were about to give the treatment to. Sure, the two hadn't met yet, but Howard had seen the photos, and he knew Lillian's unrest. Despite their confidence in his character, his body was tiny, and the vitarays alone could kill him. Even still, he was apparently the clear choice. But Howard could only hope, like the rest, that the operation worked and didn't kill the kid.

"Lills, look at me." Howard cupped her face in his hands gently, his eyes begging her to see the emotion they held. For _once,_ he was serious. Her knee stopped, and her hazel eyes gazed up into his brown. "It will work out how it's supposed to. You and the old doc worked hard on this and you two know the project best. I trust that you two made the right decision in this…now you just need to trust yourself."

Howard's hands dropped from her smooth skin, and she closed her eyes slowly, swallowing a breath she had been holding in her throat before letting it out slowly. She nodded, opening her eyes again but the fear and anxiety was still hidden behind her long lashes.

"I know we picked the right man for the job, Howard. But what if…what if something goes wrong? What if we do something that could've been avoidable, and instead…we kill him. Before we can show off to everyone else that we made the right decision. I can't deal with being told I'm wrong, you know."

Her smile lit up her face, and the entire room, and thus Howard couldn't help but smile as well. He pulled her into his arms slowly, letting his emotions take over for _just this once._ He breathed his best friend in, closing his eyes as he just allowed the comforting warmth to pass between their bodies, clutching onto her as if she was the one about to be operated on. Of course, she had a lot at stake too, and thus he did, seeing as her happiness secured his.

The second Howard let her go is the second Steven Rogers entered the room, and the only time in life Howard had seen Lillian run to a man. She smiled, and seemed to be relieved to see the 90 pound asthmatic in front of her, and it was in that moment Howard Stark felt the first pang of jealousy in his heart that he had ever felt.

"Steve! I'm so pleased that you proved yourself at that camp, I was hoping you wouldn't let my early decision go to waste." Her words and ease of opinion caused a blush to creep its way onto Steve's face, and everyone in the room had to resist shaking their head at the fact that this 20-something year old man had probably never had a woman assert herself onto him that way. The next sentence definitely didn't help the matter. "Could you take your tie and shirt off for me?"


	2. Chapter 2-Transformation

Hello, my dears! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this story. Rottingmermaid, you asked for a quick update and here it is! Since I'm on break from university for the time being I hope to update not only this story but all of my stories, considering all I'm doing is taking boxing classes and working. Please feel free to review and tell me your likes/dislikes…I take everything into consideration.

This chapter will begin now with the story being in Lillian's POV. It's really mostly a filler chapter, but nonetheless important. Plus, there is a little fluff.

As always, I unfortunately do not own anything except for the lovely Dr. Carraway and please enjoy x

 **Chapter Two**

"Could you please take your tie and shirt off for me?"

Steve gulped at that, nodding but slowly turning around to remove his the upper half of his clothing. I smiled at his innocence and allowed him to turn away from me, though much to his displeasure I was still there when he turned to face me, yet again. A deep red spread itself across his face, and I gave him a soft and reassuring smile, helping him to lie down.

"Now Steve, it's very important that you stay still. I know this table isn't nearly as comfortable as Howard should have made it and you're going to want to shift around, but you can't. You must exercise the upmost self control." I placed a relaxing hand on his arm, my confidence almost faltering at how fragile he felt underneath me. "I'm going to give you the first of the shots now. Try to relax."

I reached over to the table on my left, pulling a needle filled with penicillin into my hand. Taking a deep breath, I gently slid the needle into his arm, letting out the breath once all of the medicine was injected. Steve pulled his eyes away from my face and down to his arm, where he allowed a soft smile to form.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, ma'am."

"…that was penicillin." I tried to give a comforting smile, reaching forward to pat his shoulder. I could see the worry in his eyes, the anxiety that something would go wrong. I couldn't stand to see his worry and know that I was at least partially responsible for the cause of his anxiety. I gave him a quick nod and promptly removed myself from the situation, taking my place next to Howard once again. He swiftly leaned down to kiss my cheek, and I rolled my eyes at his antics before turning to check over calculations once more. My hands were shaking, and a voice in the back of my head was screaming that this couldn't be done.

But it could be done. It _would_ be done, and we would make sure. We would take special care to be sure Steve was okay in the end. If something happened…I would never be able to live with myself. I would never feel okay knowing that I had caused this…well, truthfully wonderful man's death.

"Dr. Carraway. We're ready to begin." Dr. Erksine snapped me into reality and my eyes widened up at him, nodding once before letting out a deep breath. I put on my best fake smile and stood, glancing at Howard before nodding my approval.

Howard had barely reached 70% capacity when Steve started shouting. The room became frantic. Howard halted his movements, and Dr. Erksince and the nurses all rushed to see Steve. Peggy frantically came out of the booth, shouting for us to stop. The words couldn't leave my mouth, but I wanted to say _no_ , that Steve would want us to keep going. But the pain in his voice muted me and rooted me to my spot.

But Steve. He screamed…he told us to keep going, and while Howard seemed against the idea and rooted to his spot, I reached over and quite literally took the wheel, putting the rest of the power we had into Steve. The lights faltered and I gasped out a soft breath, looking as the chamber opened.

Steve no longer needed a cheeseburger was the least that could've been said. My eyes raked his body and a smile grew across my face at the realization that we _had done it._ We had turned this 90 pound asthmatic into a massive example of a man, despite what people said couldn't happen. I practically sprinted over to the spot, smiling up at Steve.

But before the words could come out of my mouth, chaos broke out. The gunshots were loud, and my eyes registered Dr. Erksine being hit just moments before I felt searing pain in my own chest. My eyes widened as I looked down at my white blouse, coated thickly in a growing circle of my blood. My eyes caught Steve's for only a moment before the world became black and I fell to the ground.

"When's she gonna wake up, Mr. Stark?" Wake up? I was awake? Why was Steve asking such a silly question?

"Her eyes have been fluttering behind her lids for a good bit now. She's lucky she's going to wake up at all." How very like Howard to be _so_ dramatic.

"Do you think she's gonna have changes? We're not entirely sure what we injected her with back there…could be something bad."

"Well then princess here just needs to wake up so she can tell us what it was, isn't that right Lills?"

"Don't call me that, Howard." The rasp in my voice surprised even me, but my eyes slowly fluttered open and I took in the sight of Howard sitting next to me with Steve in a chair in the corner, a worried expression on his face. "What'd you inject me with?"

"Well…we don't know. It was…blue, like, really blue. It was our only option, really, Lills. You would've died and…well, we needed something."

"That was the _serum_ …Howard, you injected me with some of the _serum_. Probably the last of it…what happened when I was injected? What did my body do?"

"For a minute, nothing happened, Lills. I held you and you continued to bleed on me, and I was scared. And then all of the sudden, the bleeding stopped, and I looked down and the bullet hole was…closing. Like shrinking, on it's own. And then you were unconscious, but you were fine. No wounds. No bleeding."

I released a shaky breath and lifted my shirt up slightly, touching the skin where the bullet had been lodged in me. I felt a dull pain there, like my body was still remembering what had happened, and closed my eyes to take in the new information. "Each vile of the serum had a different purpose. There were slight differences in each of them to make something different happen to the super soldier…to you, Steve. One vile was made to create an enhanced healing process, and slow down the aging process significantly, if not totally. There's no way to know indefinitely, only time can tell. That's what you injected me with, Howard."

The weight of my words set in with Howard, and I swear for a minute I saw tears spring to his eyes. I reached to grab his hand, but he shook his head and stood. In a flash, my best friend was gone from the room. My own eyes began to tingle with the familiar tears that only Howard could bring, and I sat up quickly, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. Steve was at my side in an instant, guiding me out of the bed, his hands gentle on my arms, but confusion evident on his face. I steadied myself, slipping on my heels and breathing deep. Steve couldn't hold his question back.

"Why is Howard so upset over your health, Dr. Carraway? I thought he was your best friend…shouldn't he be happy that you can't be hurt?"

"Steve. Here, sit down, and I'll explain." Steve sat in the chair Howard had been in, and I sat on the hospital bed, facing Steve. I didn't much like to talk about my past, but I felt the insatiable need to tell him arise. "In 1918 a woman named Cora O'Reilly met a man who had just returned from war. His name was Nicholas Carraway, and their love spread quicker than a wildfire. They married a month after meeting, but couldn't conceive a child until March of 1921. But they loved that child with all their heart, and named her Lillian Rose Carraway and doted on her more than was necessary. In 1927, a car crash took the six-year-old girl's parents from her. I was alone, and an orphan, Steve. And I was still a child.

The Stark family took me in only a month later. Howard became…my everything. He was my only friend, and we bonded immediately. We have been inseparable ever since. He promised me over and over again I would never be alone after that day and…and now, I think that he knows I will undoubtedly live longer than him…it hurts him to know he'll leave me. Howard really is very emotional…even if he doesn't seem like it."

Tears slowly fell from my eyes before I could blink them back, and before I could look away Steve was grabbing my chin and wiping them away with a warm thumb. My eyes closed as I felt more tears leak out, but Steve caught them. Steve caught every single tear that cascaded down my face, and I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

Before I could stop myself, I was leaning forward and against Steve's-now-rock hard chest. I buried my face into the man's shoulder, and he allowed me to just weep on him for a while, as his arms rested gently around my back. Eventually, my breathing slowed and my eyes gazed up to Steve-who's face was bright red but his eyes had a wide array of emotions. Slowly Steve looked into my eyes as well, and earned a small laugh from me as he spoke.

"So…you still wanna get that cheeseburger you think I need?"


	3. Chapter 3-Backbone and Blush

**Chapter Three**

"They shouldn't be parading him around this way, Howard. It's not what he was made for. Dr. Erksine and I didn't spend years perfecting this serum for them to just…throw it aside and turn him into some living propaganda piece. He was meant for more than this."

Lately, I had been the moody one, rather than Howard. I spent everyday and night in a lab, trying to replicate the formula Dr. Erksine and I had built together, with no luck. Erksine was a paranoid man, and the notes he had taken were mostly in a language and writing only _he_ could understand. Much of the serum replication was going to have to become a trial and error, and so far every trial resulted in an error. And what the government was doing to Steve was not only disrespectful to him, but the deceased doctor and also myself.

Steve was being used as, like I had said to Howard, a propaganda piece. They were travelling him around the country and overseas to different cities, trying to rally the citizens and convince them to become apart of the war. And it was _disgusting_. Steve wasn't meant to be a tool used to sell war bonds and make people get involved with the war, Steve was supposed to be the man who _ended_ the war. He was supposed to be the best soldier that ever lived, and he was supposed to be great. And they had depleted him, and turned him into nothing. And now our serum coursed through his veins, for nothing.

"If you have an issue with it, go tell him yourself. He's doing one of his shows right now, right here. Should be finishing up soon, Miss Patriot."

I rolled my eyes at Howard, but straightened the blue dress the hugged my figure and the white lab coat that protected my arms, standing up. I gave him a pointed look, saying 'fine, I will', and stalked out of the lab tent myself. I walked to where the men were gathered, and couldn't hold back what was sure to be a look of disgust as I saw how they had Steve looking up on the stage. Even without the serum, he was too good a man for this.

When a couple of soldiers saw me, they stood quickly at attention, the rest of the group following suit. Soon enough, all of the soldiers were standing, saluting me, and a soft smirk fell onto my lips at the surprised look on Steve's face. I looked around to each of them, giving pointed glares to the ones I had seen mocking Steve while he was on the stage, and after a few moments nodded.

"At ease, soldiers. Return to your work. The show is over. Steve Rogers? You come with me." I turned on my red heels, marching over to the edge of the camp near some trees. When I was sure to be out of sight, I allowed my posture to relax, and even slid off my heels to gain at least a little comfort, even if it were only going to be for just a few moments. Steve joined me a few moments later, and the look on his face gave his anxiety away before the words left his mouth.

"Look, Dr. Carraway…if this is about the show and how it's not really what I'm supposed to be doing I…I just want you to know it's not really my choice. I've told them time and time again that I'm supposed to be a soldier, but they just keep sticking me on that stage. I…I wish I could be what you intended, but I just can't. Not with how they're treating me."

I quirked an eyebrow at him, leaning against a tree and shook my head. For what I guessed was over a minute we sat in silence, tension thick in the air between us. With every passing moment Steve's face grew a deeper red, and I fought to find the right words. After some time, they came to me, and I cleared my throat before I decided to speak to who was -supposed to be- the best thing I had ever done.

"Steven, do you know what the Super Soldier serum was supposed to do? And I don't mean in terms of winning the war, soldier. I mean to _you_. Do you know what the serum was supposed to do to you?"

"Well…the way Dr. Erksine described it to me was that all of the parts of me-physical and character-would be heightened by the serum. Every part of me would still be me, but multiplied. Is that correct?"

"Oh yes. It certainly is correct. I just suppose we must've made an error in the serum, because apparently what we injected you with completely took away your backbone." Steve's eyes widened at my harsh words, and I could see a slight hurt in his eyes, but that didn't stop me from continuing. It was my mission now to return him to the real him, to remind him who he was. "The man we picked off the streets would laugh in the face of someone who told him to do something he didn't believe in. The man we chose wanted to fight, because that's what his neighbors and friends were doing and he couldn't stand to do anything less. The man we chose knew that even with his disadvantages, he could make a difference. The man I fell in-…the man I chose once said that he didn't like bullies, and he wanted to get rid of them. And that man has supposedly disappeared, despite the belief we poured into that man. I know he's still around here somewhere, because that's the kind of man Steven Rogers is, and that's who he promised Dr. Erksine he would continue to be. Now, if you see Steven Rogers, would you please tell him that I have been searching for him? Because this world needs saving, and I damn sure didn't spend years of my life perfecting a serum to have him prance around a stage."

The silence that fell over us was heavier this time, and the tension grew tenfold what we thought it had been earlier. Steve just stared at me, and I turned my eyes away from him, leaning my side against the tree rather than my back now. It was silent between us, but after a while I felt tears stinging at my eyes and I fought hard to blink them back. I heard steps, and it occurred to me that Steve was leaving me there, probably because I had hurt his feelings. The thought caused a single, large tear to roll down my cheek, only to be stopped by a warm thumb. Another thumb and forefinger caught my chin, and my face was turned to meet Steve's.

He had become the all-American, and standing before him so closely I could appreciate that now. His blonde hair was both messy but perfectly slicked, and he had a strong jaw, piercing blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. His torso formed the perfect upside-down triangle shape, and his legs only increased his height. A breath escaped my lips and I tried to turn my head away, but he held my face where it was firmly as more tears slipped from my eyes. A soft, pathetic sound escaped my lips and I internally cursed myself…before I was suddenly very aware of a pair of soft, warm lips on my own.

At first, I didn't respond. How could I? Steve kissing me was definitely one of the last things I had been expecting when I told him to follow me, and yet there he was, towering over me, my chin captured in his hand and his lips softly planted on mine. I returned the kiss after a few seconds, moving my hands to rest around his neck, inhaling his scent through my nose. My eyes slid closed, and I just took the time to revel in all that he was. The feeling of his lips moving against mine was the most peace I had felt in months, and a content sigh was sure to pass through my lips the moment he was not kissing me anymore. My body was on fire, my mind screaming at me, and my heart beating so hard I thought it would explode at any moment. And I hadn't even realized I had wanted Steve to kiss me, until he had actually done it.

All too soon, he was pulling away. My eyes stayed closed for a few moments as his lips left my own, but I could feel my own lips turn up slightly in a smile. As my hazel eyes opened, I was greeted with a very red Steve, rubbing the back of his neck with a worried expression on his face. When he saw my eyes land on him, his face got-if possible-even redder and he scrambled for words.

"I…I don't know why I did that it was very…aggressive of me and I apologize. It was out of line. It won't happen again."

I smiled even more, if possible, and a soft laugh escaped my lips. Standing on my toes, I placed a gentle kiss on his lips, earning me a very shocked expression and a red face, yet again. I smiled at that, enjoying the effect I had on him, before I found the words that I needed to say.

"I might not have said it, but you definitely had permission to do that, soldier."

There you go! Kind of a short little chapter, which I apologize for, but these short chapters are necessary for the build up. Once we get through the Captain America movie, we can get into the Avengers and the longer, deeper chapters can happen. So I'm sorry if these are kind of teasing, I don't mean to upset, just trying to get through!

BUT! We did get a kiss, and that is HUGE! And we also got a good bit of Lillian sass, which is always fun and will, hopefully, continue to be.

Your support and words of kindness are so important to me, and I love reading such positive reviews from some of you! If you have reviewed this story, or want to review this story, please continue to do so! I love to see what y'all think of the story and the events. Your opinions mean a lot to me!

Thank you! x


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